I don’t need you or your brand new Benz

Kesha said it best:

“You can’t imagine the immensity of the fuck I’m not giving about your money and manservant at the mansion you live in. And I don’t want to go place where all my ladies can’t get it. Just grab a bottle, some boys and take it back to my basement, and get sleazy. Sick all your lines, so cheesy. Sorry daddy, but I’m not that easy.”

Listen up dudes, cause not all women are gold diggers. You dropping cash like it grows on trees just makes you look like a douche. Its not all about the benjamins. Sometimes its better to just get sleazy.

I’ve got a secret. And I want to tell you.

Everyone has secrets, right? But what’s the point in having a secret if you want somebody else to know? Here are some secrets and some not-so-secrets about guys and girls that everyone should know. A lot of these you’ve probably seen before, but maybe not all of them.

Secrets Girls Want Guys To Know

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
3. I will leave if you lie.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
5. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6.I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it’s about you.
9. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11. I expect you to call me.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13. I’m scared of losing my independence.
14. I’m more forgiving of you than I really should be.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (See directly above.)
17. If I’m not having sex with you, I’m: a). having a fat day. b). not feeling "connected" to you. c). blackmailing you to get something I want.
18. Shoes determine whether you’re fashionable or not.
19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I’m not afraid to use it.
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we’re just going to the movies.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27. I’m very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28. I’m unimpressed with a man who doesn’t take the lead.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
30. I want to be Madonna.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
32. I’m in heaven when you hold my hand.
33. You’re sexy when you’re shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you–and for you to recognize this.
37. If I’m not feeling loved, I will start looking….
38. Discussion of ex-gf’s and ex-bf’s should be avoided at all times.
39. I like it when you tell me what you’re thinking, even if you don’t know yourself.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it’s only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
41. I love it when you’re sweaty.
42. It’s best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something with her that you wouldn’t want me to see, hear, read…
48. For the record: I’d rather you break up with me than cheat.
49. I remember everything about our relationship.
50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.

Secrets Guys Want Girls To Know

1. Guys hate sluts.
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" – two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re gonna say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.
10. Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh…never
mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys’ weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours,.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, or he won’t be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don’t really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
44. Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.
49. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.
50. 99.5% of the time, we didn’t mean to hurt you

Men&Sex :: Fact or fiction?

Ladies, today we are putting to rest all those myths about men and sex. No one really knows where they originate from, but everyone’s heard them. Some are waaay farfetched, some sound like they can be plausible. But now, our minds will finally be put to ease.

  1.  
    1. Big feet = Big Penis
      Sorry ladies, but in no way, shape or form does a man’s shoe size effect the size of his package. As much as we’d all like this to be true (because, hey, it’d make things easier) its been disproven in countless numbers of surveys over the years. But I wouldn’t put it past people to continue spreading this myth as fact.
    2. Men are always in the mood for sex
      Looks like girls aren’t the only ones that need a break then. This myth has been a relationship enemy for a long time. Girls assume the guys want sex all the time, and when they don’t they feel unwanted. Guys find it hard to livie up to the expectation of being able and willing at anytime. So relax guys and girls, just because you or your partner aren’t in the mood doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.
    3. Men want sex more than woman
      Wrong! This a purely chemical thing. In the first 18 months of being in a relationship guys and girls release a chemical called PEA which amps up the sex drive. The only diference is that for the girls, the chemical slowly stops being released around the 2 years mark, but for the guys it keeps going on for awhile longer. So its not that they want more sex then women, their bodies just produce more chemicals than women.
    4. The average erection is 8 inches long
      Try more like 5.5 to 6.2 inches. What can I say, guys are fibbers. This myth has only led to girls feeling short-changed and guys feeling insecure. So stop the fretting boys, 6 inches is nothing to worry about.
    5. Men think about sex every 7 seconds
      Think logically people, not possible. Let’s do some math. Say the average man stays awake for about 16 hours, thats 57,000 thoughts of sex in one day. That about the amount of times we breath when we are awake. If men thought about sex every 7 seconds they wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else.
    6. Men never fake it
      Now this is one myth that surprised even me. It turns out that sometimes men need to fake an orgasm too. The main reason for men faking it is that they aren’t in the mood, but don’t want to hurt their partners feelings. The second biggest reason is that they have come too many times already and are just worn out. It might be harder for men to fake it, but apparently its possible.
    7. Men aren’t into foreplay
      Get ready for the long haul ladies, cause men like the foreplay. The building of tension with teasing touches or playing games makes everything that much sweeter for them, and for us. I guess the big O isn’t the only thing on his mind as often as we think.
    8. Men only get turned on my sexy underwear
      Nope. Sure every once in awhile is nice to pull out the lacy and frilly underwear, but if you wear it too often, they’ll get bored with it. There’s nothing wrong with occasionally wearing a nice pair of cotton undies instead of the silk and fancy stuff. Change it up ladies, that’s whats important.

So those are all the myths put to rest for now. You can read more about it in the march edition of Cosmo, not to mention the 5 truths about men&sex.

A good kiss is better than bad sex

Did you know that 63% of women, if forced to choose, would give up sex before they gave up kissing?

I love little Cosmo fun-facts such as these. They are the whole reason I buy the magazine. To read the awesome sex/relationship related articles. My favorite article is the Febuary addition is “It’s in His Kiss”. There are lots of fun kissing facts. Here’s another.

Did you know 46% of men expect kissing to lead to sex?

Good kissing isn’t necessarily only about technique. It has a lot to do with the person you’re kissing. But there are some techniques that can spice up your kissing experience.

1.The Cocktail:
”Take a sip of champagne or liqueur leaving a little bit on your lips, that way when you kiss he’ll get a little taste of what you’re having.”

2.The Twilight:

“While kissing, gently nibble at his tongue and lips.”

3.The Angel Kiss:

“Kiss gently around the corners of his eyes, before kissing his eyelids.”

4.The Rain Kiss:

“While its puring down rain, alternate between kissing your guy and sucking the water from his jawline and eyelashes. (This works in the shower as well.)”

Like with everything else in life, practice makes perfect. Its rare that a person is born a perfect kisser, so don’t get down if you’re not number one yet. You’ve got plenty of time to practice girls.

Did you know the average women will kiss 79 people before she marries?

Ladies shouldn’t be messed with…

This makes me smile 🙂

Lyrics:
She’s a Lady- Forever the Sickest Kids
I’m in love with a girl I hate,
She enjoys pointing out
every bad thing about me
I’m in love with a critic and a skeptic.
I’d trade her, I’d trade her in a second.

She’s a backseat driver,
A drama provider,
an instant update of the world
Shes a first class liar,
a constant forgetter
(she’s attractive, but bitter)

Did you scream enough to make her cry,
To turn around,
turn around baby,
don’t return to me,
If you think that I’m not worth your time.

She’s a lady,
And ladies
shouldn’t be messed with.
She’s a lady,
And ladies,
shouldn’t be messed with.

Take off your shoes,
Come in the room,
And baby let’s try not to argue,
Turn out the lights,
Turn on the radio,
How can we fight when I’m too busy loving you,
I’m too busy loving you
I’m too busy loving you

Did you scream enough to make her cry,
To turn around,
turn around baby,
don’t return to me.
If you think that I’m not worth your time.

She’s a lady,
And ladies,
shouldn’t be messed with.
She’s a lady,
And ladies,
shouldn’t be messed with.

Here I am,
Find More lyrics at http://www.sweetslyrics.com
There you go again,
again
And we will not ever be eighteen again, again

And I’m worn out of fighting,
And every night you leave crying,
And I could use some time.
And here I am,
There you go again. (again)

So here I am I’m dying,
And I’m waiting for you,
waiting for you.
Come back, come back to me,
And I’ll take you gladly.
And I’ll take you where to go.

Did you scream enough to make her cry,
To turn around,
turn around baby.
don’t return to me,
If you think that I’m not worth your time.

Did you scream enough to make her cry,
To turn around turn around baby, don’t return to me.
If you think that I’m not worth your time.

She’s a lady,
And ladies,
shouldn’t be messed with
Shes a lady,
And ladies,
shouldn’t be messed with

Girls vs. Guys #1

So yesterday me and my roommate got to talking about porn. Now this isn’t an everyday occurrence for those of you who were wondering. She had read an article about an interview done about college dudes (in Norway) and porn. According to this article every single one of the guys that were interviewed owned up to liking porn, not one guy denied it. So that got us thinking. Why do guys like porn so much more than (most) girls? Well, we think we have the answer. When a girl watches porn, the first thing she looks for is the hot guy. And in most cases the guys aren’t that hot, they are corny. So we need to find something else to focus on. The only things left for us to focus on are cheesy lines, unbelievable sex sounds and overall bad acting. Now when a guy watched porn the only thing on his mind is BOOOOOBS. Which you are much more likely to find in a porno than a hot guy. So no wonder they find it more entertaining. The thing they look for first and foremost is always right there. I guess girls get the short end of the stick in this department, but we do win for having standards 😉