Queen of the Fucking Universe is baaaack!
So, as you’ve might have noticed the past year or so everyone has gone around saying “epic fail”, right? It kind of became a trend.
Well, I don’t know if its just here in Norway, but there is no postive way to turn around ‘epic fail’ unless you just say epic… Which is kind of boring. So, I decided that the opposite of ‘epic fail’ is ‘epic awesomeness’.
Anyways, back to my point. This past monday was total epic awesomeness!
It was the day before Norway’s independence day, so as a tradition, we all went out and got trashed.
It was definitely a good time, but just let me tell you this. If anyone dares you to shoot three Flatliners in a row, it would be best to say ‘no, thanks’ rather than ‘if you will, I will’.
Unfortunatly, I can’t go into that much detail about what made it so awesome because the details are a bit fuzzy, but it toally was. Hehe.
But once again, its back to reality and exams. I have one on monday, and the I have a two week break, and then two more in quick succession.
The sucky part? I went in to buy my pensum book for one of my exams and they were sold out. Its gonna be 10 days before they can get the book in, as in less than a week before the exam. Now THAT is an epic fail.
Oh well, that’s life. You got to roll withthe punches I guess.
Today was the Monday from hell. It utterly kicked my ass.
- Woke up half an hour late, which led to being half an hour late for school
- Choked on the first bite of my banana. Don’t ask me how.
- Waited an hour to try finishing my breakfast to avoid any more choking and spilled my yoghurt all over myself and my backpack.
- Spent an hour trying to download a program onto my computer that I apparently already had.
- Got my hair stuck in my backpack so that when I went to drop it on the floor while I was standing, I almost ripped out my hair. (One of my extensions did lose the battle)
- Went down to the grocery, stood in line and went to go pay only to realize I didn’t have my bank card with me.
- Dropped my phone while sitting in a information lecture and of course the pieces spread as far as possible, so it was impossible to discreetly pick them up.
- Put my water bottle in my backpack but didn’t see it was open, so my work out clothes got soaked.
- Got home to finish working on my semester project only to realize the program I was spent so long trying to download was the wrong program.
- Found out that its going to rain tomorrow, even though the weather Gods promised us a week of sun.
In other words, just another day in
paradise my life.
Back in Norway after my ah-mazing vacation in Spain.
I definitely was’t ready to leave, because now I’m back to reality where I have to semester projects to finish by next friday, and exams after that.
But none of that will put a damper on my memories. We had a few drunken nights playing secret asian man, paying 1,5 € for a beer and 2 € for tequila shots, trespassing on golf courses and of course laughing at the stupid things people say when they are a little passed tipsy:
“South africa? Are you sure of that? I thought she was from a specific country.”
“Im an excellent breeder assistent…. Even ask your aunt debbie!”
“It was like pure wissshhkey.”
“Glow dance? What the hell does that have to do with a sobriety test?”
We also had ice cream everyday, went shopping, found swapmeets and hung out at the beach. All in all, it was very relaxing.
I will definitely miss the sunshine and being able to wear shorts and t-shirts with no jacket.
Ever been standing in an elevator with two people you’re almost positive you’ve met before, but can’t be sure?
And as you are trying to figure out where you could have seen them, one of them smiles at you.
But you can’t decide if its because he recognizes you too, or if he is smiling because you are kind of staring.
So when the elevator opens, you get right off because everything got a little awkward, only to realize you got off two floors too early and both guys are getting out with you.
Then you walk into the cafeteria on that floor to buy an orange juice so it looks like you had something to do there. And when you finally get away and can walk up the next two floors you realize that you will never be a ninja, because that was totally the opposite of inconspicuous.
That was my morning this morning. Now I’m sad because my back up plan if college fell through was totally to become a ninja.
It is officially less than a week until Spain. More exact: 5 DAYS!
Man, I need to go pack, like right now.
But wait, I haven’t shopped yet! (Blasphemous I know. )
I don’t have a bathing suit yet (Maybe I’ll buy a couple)
I don’t even own shorts! (I don’t like frostbite on my legs)
To-Do List Before Spain:
Buy bathing suit(s)
Think about Spain
Finish semester project
Think about Spain
Think about Spain
Think about Spain
Leave for Spain!
Not my most challenging to-do list, but I’ll enjoy every second of it
(Except for the semester project)
As I have mentioned before, I work as a math tutor for junior high and high school students. Once a month we arrange a student-night and have a guest speaker come and do experiments with the kids, trying to get them more interested in science and physics.
This month we were visited by a very popular norwegian physicist named Andreas Wahl [see below], who put on a science show for us called ‘The Universe in 42 Minutes’.
He started of his show by explaining where the universe comes from, and that if we really think about it, ‘we’re all made from stardust’. By this time, I would guess that about 85-90% of the girls in the room had found their new crush. I would be lying if I said I didn’t find him fascinating myself.
After that, he did a bunch of fun little experiments, like getting a swim cap on with no muscle force by filling it with water, making two connected hearts by cutting to rings of paper without lifting the scissors, money that survives fire by dousing it in a mixture of alcohol and water, a potato launcher and a newer version of the tablecloth experiment.
All in all, it was a very entertaining show. If I wasn’t already interested in science and math, he would definitely be the one to convince me.
You might recall in an earlier post that I claimed the best feeling was when you accomplished something that someone told you was impossible for you.
Well, I would like to amend that statement. Now, the best feeling is when you dread looking at your bank account because you know that you have almost no money and will have to skip a few meals in the next couple weeks before you get paid because you can’t afford groceries, but when you finally look at your account you find out that you have a lot more than you thought, and not only can you afford dinner, you can even buy dessert.
The only sad part is, apparently I suck at math since I was so off on my calculations, which could be problematic considering I work as a math tutor.
I despise mornings. I am the total opposite of a morning person. I guess I would call myself an anti-morning person.
You know that phrase ‘woke up on the wrong-side of the bed’? Well, that applies for me no matter what bed, or what side of the bed.
So naturally, when I came across an article about morning mood boosters, I was interested. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel like such a bitch right? Wrong. Most of the things on the list would put me into an even worse mood. Just look at them and see if you would want to do those right when you wake up.
- Pick one “spoil-me” task to do: When you wake up, give yourself 30 seconds to think of at least one nice thing you can do for yourself that day…and then do it.
Now this I could do. Spoiling myself sounds like the perfect thing to do in the morning.
- Eat a well-balanced meal: Start your morning with a nutritious mix of complex carbohydrates and proteins.
Breakfast makes me sick to my stomach if I eat something heavy, so no thanks.
- Get some fresh air: Head out for some “green exercise”.
Really? I hate the outside. The outside has bugs. Bugs make me feel dirty. Not a good feeling in the morning.
- Listen to the sounds of nature: Capture the benefits of the great outdoors
We don’t have nature sounds where I live. We hear the cars and our neighbors shouting, while their dog barks.
- Focus on feeling good: Right after waking up, take five deep breaths and make the decision to feel good for the day.
I am not big on the power of positive thinking cause then I feel suckier if things go wrong. What is that saying? If you’re a pessimist at least you won’t be let down?
- Drink hot chocolate: A recent study found that sipping a drink containing cocoa flavonols improved participants’ moods and levels of alertness.
Now this I am totally down with. Anything to do with chocolate, especially in the morning, is a mood booster.
- Take a moment to assess yourself: Take five minutes to pay attention to your body and notice if you feel any stiffness, then do some light stretching while breathing deeply.
Another thing I totally agree with. I’m almost always stiff when I wake up, so this is a must for me.
- Envision the negative: Think about a positive event from your life, and then imagine what your life would be like if the event hadn’t happened.
This sounds more like a thanksgiving thing than a morning thing if you ask me.
- Breathe in some mint: Researchers found that sniffing peppermint enhanced mood and attention while also fighting fatigue.
Yes, please! Peppermint smells amazing!
The best and easiest thing on the list. I love smiling. I’m an automatic smiler even when I’m in a bad mood. So this one is a piece of cake.
After all this, if you still feel like an anti-morning person… Don’t worry I do too.
I’m sure a few people come to mind when you read this quote.
Sweetheart, you spread rumors as fast as you spread your legs. If you ran as much as you run your mouth you would be in great shape!
I know a couple people who apply, but its something that I have come to accept about them.
Just keep my name out of your mouth honey, and we’ll be fine.
P.S. Is truer even a word? No? It is now.